coming full circle
Well, it seems that there are folks out there reading my ramblings (Hi, Scott, it was nice to hear from you again)
I hope that this finds all of you well! My son has had the flu, but I think that we are all on the mend now. Please, folks, the flu is nasty! If you are out somewhere and someone coughs.......RUN RUN RUN!
Now on to the good stuff..........
So here I am now, just a few miles from the mountain that gave me my first memories and a few miles from the father who didnt want a daughter. Just a few miles from what most people would consider the beginning of misery. I am no longer hit, lol, quite the opposite as my hubby would tell you. Here a cute story:
Several years ago, I started cleaning my church once a week. I needed some extra income and the church needed someone to clean it. Funny how God works things out like that. So anyway, I was cleaning the church one summer day. I had all the windows and doors wide open, so that church could air out. I was alone and really enjoying some time away, when this man walked in, real slow and real careful like. I caught sight of him out of the corner of my eye and instantly knew he did NOT have good intentions. I was in a small room, off to the side of the entrance and there was no way to get out without asking him to move. Then he caught sight of me, making me even more sure that he was not a friendly sort of guy, sooo, I picked up a metal folding chair and went a little WWF upside his head. There is still a dent in the wall where his head hit it.
While he was sprawled out on the floor, I took off out the door. By the mercy of God, there was a man who lived in a neighboring house, driving up his driveway. He saw me and came to my aid. Turns out, he was a retired New York cop! Hows that for coincidence? He and I went up to the church to wait for the police and the attacker was still inside. He took off when we got there though. The police trailed him for a while but he was never caught.
It really struck me hard, even harder than that chair struck that man, that God had ALWAYS provided me with the safety I needed, even when I was too little to realize it. All those things that happened as I grew up were not God's fault, what WAS His fault was that I survived and grew to marry and have children, be a happy and normal person. Ok, maybe not normal, but who's counting?
For instance, Two years ago, I got sick. Really sick. I had a complete pelvic prolapse, which required an 8 hour surgery to repair. During this surgery, I was dropped and had my shoulder dislocated. Other than that, I healed quickly and went home. Three weeks later, I was doubled over in pain. After a cat scan, the Dr told me that I had an abcess. We tried for months to cure this abcess, four more surgeries, tubes coming out of every hole I had, and lots of pain. Once I had enough, I told them to cut me open and take it OUT. So specialists were called in, a team of Doctors did the surgery. The thing they thought was an abcess was actually my ovary, swollen to the size of a softball. Its out, so I"m cured! Yay! Not so fast.
I had to go home with a tube that went in at my elbow and ran directly into my heart, so that I could give myself IV medication at home for awhile. I formed a five inch blood clot in the artery in my neck. HMMM.
So back into the hospital. One particularly wonderful nurse panicked every time I sneezed, and when I told her to chill, she told me "You could roll over and bust that thing lose. You would be dead in less that a minute". HA, thats a nice thing to hear. Oh well, Christ died for me, I am forgiven, a child of God, so I have nothing to fear. I turned on Bill Cosby, and he made me laugh for the rest of the night. The blood clot dissolved away after a couple months of heparin injections. Then a couple months ago, my other ovary did the same thing, but was not a big deal, as we knew what we were dealing with. We just got rid of the little bugger and all is well.
I am sooooo glad that I was sick! So many good things came from it. Like my relationship with my church.
They called me, sent me cards, flowers and BROWNIES! I taped their cards to my wall, so that I could see them (after I ate the brownies). It amazed me that these people actually loved me enough to think about me when I was not around, to take out time to cook for me, to come see me. They love me and I did nothing to earn that love! This was a totaly new concept for me and it still amazes me. They even took up a fund, giving their own hard earned money to help us out with the massive medical bills. God provided, abundantly, through my wonderful church.
And then there was my kids. They were terrified though the whole two years, but they stepped up and took over the house. They mopped, cleaned, cooked, did laundry, and took care of me. They even helped me with my bandages and IVs. Best of all, I caught my oldest son praying for me, asking God not to take his momma.
He loves me enough to want to keep me around AND he loves God enough to talk to Him about it! Big WOO HOO! I have a newfound respect for my kids and they for me as well.
And hubby. OH the hubby. We had gone thru a VERY rough spot in our marriage, coming very close to divorce (no details here). When I became ill, I needed a man that I could count on and was terrified because I felt as if I couldn't count on hubby. But, the man stayed with me EVERY SINGLE night that I spent in the hospital. We spent more time in the hospital than out. He washed me, fed me, and crawled up in that hospital bed to hold me. At night, he slept in a recliner, pulled right up next to the bed so that I could reach out to touch him when ever I needed. He brought me food (hospital food is GROSS), pretty nightgowns, brushed my hair and painted my toenails. He held my hair back when I threw up and wiped the sweat from my face when I wallowed in pain. I had a man that I could count on. Over the past two years I have gained new love and faith in the man that God gave me, and once again, I know that I will grow old and wrinkled and saggy with this man!
Well, all that brings us up to the present. To who I am today. A woman who is slow to make friends, and is honest to the point of being too blunt at times. I do have baggage.........I don't trust people very much and I get emotionaly hurt easy by those I love. I know how to defend myself and my children, and will do so with a vengence if cornered. BUT, I have faith in my God who has saved me once spiritualy, and physically many more times than I can count. I live in a rather ugle rental house, and we are strapped financialy. I have two wonderful children and a man that I love so much that it is disgusting. Life could not be any better!
So, I guess in the next few posts, I will tell you more about me. What I do, my hobbies and all about my animals......and we have alot of animals, lol, including a 130 pound 1 year old PUPPY. I hope that you will enjoy the rest as much as you have said you have enjoyed the beginnings.
Much love to each of you!
I hope that this finds all of you well! My son has had the flu, but I think that we are all on the mend now. Please, folks, the flu is nasty! If you are out somewhere and someone coughs.......RUN RUN RUN!
Now on to the good stuff..........
So here I am now, just a few miles from the mountain that gave me my first memories and a few miles from the father who didnt want a daughter. Just a few miles from what most people would consider the beginning of misery. I am no longer hit, lol, quite the opposite as my hubby would tell you. Here a cute story:
Several years ago, I started cleaning my church once a week. I needed some extra income and the church needed someone to clean it. Funny how God works things out like that. So anyway, I was cleaning the church one summer day. I had all the windows and doors wide open, so that church could air out. I was alone and really enjoying some time away, when this man walked in, real slow and real careful like. I caught sight of him out of the corner of my eye and instantly knew he did NOT have good intentions. I was in a small room, off to the side of the entrance and there was no way to get out without asking him to move. Then he caught sight of me, making me even more sure that he was not a friendly sort of guy, sooo, I picked up a metal folding chair and went a little WWF upside his head. There is still a dent in the wall where his head hit it.
While he was sprawled out on the floor, I took off out the door. By the mercy of God, there was a man who lived in a neighboring house, driving up his driveway. He saw me and came to my aid. Turns out, he was a retired New York cop! Hows that for coincidence? He and I went up to the church to wait for the police and the attacker was still inside. He took off when we got there though. The police trailed him for a while but he was never caught.
It really struck me hard, even harder than that chair struck that man, that God had ALWAYS provided me with the safety I needed, even when I was too little to realize it. All those things that happened as I grew up were not God's fault, what WAS His fault was that I survived and grew to marry and have children, be a happy and normal person. Ok, maybe not normal, but who's counting?
For instance, Two years ago, I got sick. Really sick. I had a complete pelvic prolapse, which required an 8 hour surgery to repair. During this surgery, I was dropped and had my shoulder dislocated. Other than that, I healed quickly and went home. Three weeks later, I was doubled over in pain. After a cat scan, the Dr told me that I had an abcess. We tried for months to cure this abcess, four more surgeries, tubes coming out of every hole I had, and lots of pain. Once I had enough, I told them to cut me open and take it OUT. So specialists were called in, a team of Doctors did the surgery. The thing they thought was an abcess was actually my ovary, swollen to the size of a softball. Its out, so I"m cured! Yay! Not so fast.
I had to go home with a tube that went in at my elbow and ran directly into my heart, so that I could give myself IV medication at home for awhile. I formed a five inch blood clot in the artery in my neck. HMMM.
So back into the hospital. One particularly wonderful nurse panicked every time I sneezed, and when I told her to chill, she told me "You could roll over and bust that thing lose. You would be dead in less that a minute". HA, thats a nice thing to hear. Oh well, Christ died for me, I am forgiven, a child of God, so I have nothing to fear. I turned on Bill Cosby, and he made me laugh for the rest of the night. The blood clot dissolved away after a couple months of heparin injections. Then a couple months ago, my other ovary did the same thing, but was not a big deal, as we knew what we were dealing with. We just got rid of the little bugger and all is well.
I am sooooo glad that I was sick! So many good things came from it. Like my relationship with my church.
They called me, sent me cards, flowers and BROWNIES! I taped their cards to my wall, so that I could see them (after I ate the brownies). It amazed me that these people actually loved me enough to think about me when I was not around, to take out time to cook for me, to come see me. They love me and I did nothing to earn that love! This was a totaly new concept for me and it still amazes me. They even took up a fund, giving their own hard earned money to help us out with the massive medical bills. God provided, abundantly, through my wonderful church.
And then there was my kids. They were terrified though the whole two years, but they stepped up and took over the house. They mopped, cleaned, cooked, did laundry, and took care of me. They even helped me with my bandages and IVs. Best of all, I caught my oldest son praying for me, asking God not to take his momma.
He loves me enough to want to keep me around AND he loves God enough to talk to Him about it! Big WOO HOO! I have a newfound respect for my kids and they for me as well.
And hubby. OH the hubby. We had gone thru a VERY rough spot in our marriage, coming very close to divorce (no details here). When I became ill, I needed a man that I could count on and was terrified because I felt as if I couldn't count on hubby. But, the man stayed with me EVERY SINGLE night that I spent in the hospital. We spent more time in the hospital than out. He washed me, fed me, and crawled up in that hospital bed to hold me. At night, he slept in a recliner, pulled right up next to the bed so that I could reach out to touch him when ever I needed. He brought me food (hospital food is GROSS), pretty nightgowns, brushed my hair and painted my toenails. He held my hair back when I threw up and wiped the sweat from my face when I wallowed in pain. I had a man that I could count on. Over the past two years I have gained new love and faith in the man that God gave me, and once again, I know that I will grow old and wrinkled and saggy with this man!
Well, all that brings us up to the present. To who I am today. A woman who is slow to make friends, and is honest to the point of being too blunt at times. I do have baggage.........I don't trust people very much and I get emotionaly hurt easy by those I love. I know how to defend myself and my children, and will do so with a vengence if cornered. BUT, I have faith in my God who has saved me once spiritualy, and physically many more times than I can count. I live in a rather ugle rental house, and we are strapped financialy. I have two wonderful children and a man that I love so much that it is disgusting. Life could not be any better!
So, I guess in the next few posts, I will tell you more about me. What I do, my hobbies and all about my animals......and we have alot of animals, lol, including a 130 pound 1 year old PUPPY. I hope that you will enjoy the rest as much as you have said you have enjoyed the beginnings.
Much love to each of you!
posted by the eldest child at Tuesday, October 25, 2005
2 Comments:
Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad it has a happy ending with you finding healing and your family following Jesus. Even as a Christian, some of those things would be so hard to forgive. I am glad God has given you the grace to get through. I think your story is such an encouragement that the love and redemption of Christ can bring.
I found you through Scott whom I actually found through just googling blogs. I'm glad you decided to share your story and wanted to send you a cyberhug. :)
Cristy
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