Daddys home
****This is the second of two postings for today, please read the first post "On getting housetrained" first. *****
As the years went by things got worse and worse. Daddy worked all day and spent his money on other women and momma worked two jobs to support us. She worked second and third shift, so that she could sleep during the day, while I was at school and the rest of the kids were at daycare. Yes, the rest of the kids, she ended up having four babies with daddy.
So, that left me to get them up in the morning, feed them and walk them to day care. After school, I would pick them up and walk home to clean the house, fix supper, and put the kids to bed, then do homework until daddy came home (if he did). Once he got there I would try to hide in my closet, not my clothes closet but my sleeping closet. I slept in a walkin closet in the kids room so that I could be there when they woke up at night, frightened, wet or in need of a bottle.
Daddy visited me each night that he was home, eventually it got to the point that he took my virginity. I will never forget the spot of blood left on my blue sheets with the horse print. Usually after he was through with me, he would shower and go "out", to return in the morning for clean cloths and a fight with momma. I did try a couple times to say something, but he would lie to momma and she would get mad and hit me with whatever was near, a garden hose, a broom or even a shovel.
One night, daddy tried to get into my room to find the door locked, so he told momma that I had called one of his friends a "bitch", and she made me eat a bar of soap, and spanked me until I went unconscious. I woke up in my closet to find the door locked from the outside, but this time I had a five gallon bucket to use the bathroom in. After this, the lock was taken off my door, so that I could no longer lock it from the inside (it locked only from the outside) and I was left at the mercy of daddy.
I guess it got to the worst when daddys best friend "D" came over one night. He and daddy got into an arugment because D wanted to touch me like daddy did and daddy told him not with out my permission. D offered daddy a hundred dollars to be able to touch me and daddy took the money, and watched while D did all those things that daddy did.
When I was fourteen, I left home. I ran away and was gone for a week until momma found me.
Of course, Social Service got involved and they decided that I needed counseling. Just me, not my parents. This wonderful counselor made the comment that many kids my age had hormonal problems and normal kids go thru phases, one of which being suicidal. Well, I wanted to be normal! It made sense, so I went home and swallowed a bottle of pills and laid down to die.
I waited and waited, but nothing happend except a nightful of throwing up. The only reason that I can think of that I am still alive after swallowing thirty pain pills is that God literally turned my stomach inside out getting that junk out of me. It really made me mad then, but now I am grateful to the only Father who has stuck things out with me.
As the years went by things got worse and worse. Daddy worked all day and spent his money on other women and momma worked two jobs to support us. She worked second and third shift, so that she could sleep during the day, while I was at school and the rest of the kids were at daycare. Yes, the rest of the kids, she ended up having four babies with daddy.
So, that left me to get them up in the morning, feed them and walk them to day care. After school, I would pick them up and walk home to clean the house, fix supper, and put the kids to bed, then do homework until daddy came home (if he did). Once he got there I would try to hide in my closet, not my clothes closet but my sleeping closet. I slept in a walkin closet in the kids room so that I could be there when they woke up at night, frightened, wet or in need of a bottle.
Daddy visited me each night that he was home, eventually it got to the point that he took my virginity. I will never forget the spot of blood left on my blue sheets with the horse print. Usually after he was through with me, he would shower and go "out", to return in the morning for clean cloths and a fight with momma. I did try a couple times to say something, but he would lie to momma and she would get mad and hit me with whatever was near, a garden hose, a broom or even a shovel.
One night, daddy tried to get into my room to find the door locked, so he told momma that I had called one of his friends a "bitch", and she made me eat a bar of soap, and spanked me until I went unconscious. I woke up in my closet to find the door locked from the outside, but this time I had a five gallon bucket to use the bathroom in. After this, the lock was taken off my door, so that I could no longer lock it from the inside (it locked only from the outside) and I was left at the mercy of daddy.
I guess it got to the worst when daddys best friend "D" came over one night. He and daddy got into an arugment because D wanted to touch me like daddy did and daddy told him not with out my permission. D offered daddy a hundred dollars to be able to touch me and daddy took the money, and watched while D did all those things that daddy did.
When I was fourteen, I left home. I ran away and was gone for a week until momma found me.
Of course, Social Service got involved and they decided that I needed counseling. Just me, not my parents. This wonderful counselor made the comment that many kids my age had hormonal problems and normal kids go thru phases, one of which being suicidal. Well, I wanted to be normal! It made sense, so I went home and swallowed a bottle of pills and laid down to die.
I waited and waited, but nothing happend except a nightful of throwing up. The only reason that I can think of that I am still alive after swallowing thirty pain pills is that God literally turned my stomach inside out getting that junk out of me. It really made me mad then, but now I am grateful to the only Father who has stuck things out with me.
posted by the eldest child at Sunday, August 21, 2005
1 Comments:
I have been checking back every few days hoping for the next post. I hope it isn't too long in coming.
Scott
Post a Comment
<< Home